DemonGirl2010

I know its been a long time since I posted anything really good....nothing has really stood out to me saying "take my picture!" like it usually does. when that happens I usually get amazing pictures. but then again I have been doing a lot of working so I haven't had the time to really just walk through the park or anything. i'm hoping that will change since its fall again and the weather is getting colder. my kind of weather. lol

i'm hoping to get some Halloween pictures in the next couple of days. I have been working two jobs for the month of October so its been really busy. when I do have time off I just want to keep to myself or spend time with my friends newborn.

im hoping to get some really cool Christmas photos considering I've already bought and wrapped a few Christmas presents and its only the end of October!! lol

hope everyone is doing well  <3

 

I have had a few boyfriends over the years. but one has always been the one for me and the one I think most about even now after all this time. now that I look back at us I can say I had it all. we both truly loved each other. hell I still love him. I still think about him every day. I don't let other people know it any more because i'm sure they grew tired of listening to me talk about him. but there are times like now that no matter what has happened between us that I wish we could really work things out, say i'm sorry and move one. I have never been truly cared about since him. I kick myself every day for messing things up between us and fucking everything up. I still cheer his drawings and his story that he's writing on. I really hope that he goes far in life and makes something of himself. there is a quote that my mom has always used and I hope that its true. "if you love something, let it go. if it was meant to be it will come back to you." or something like that. I really hope that its true. our story is long but I believe that its a true one. we remind me of some characters in his story that he's writing and they love each other. there is a long time where they don't see each other and in that time they find themselves and learn about themselves. but the other is never far from their mind. I don't know how it ends but i'm sure they find one another again and even though they don't say anything they know they love each other.

I had that love with him. the kind of love that you didn't have to say "I love you" to that person. you knew it was there even if they didn't say it every day. maybe I will find that love one day again. I hope so. and I hope that he finds someone who is better than me and treats him right. that is one regret that I still have in life. I have grown a little more insane because of him he always said he would rub off on me. I wish I had the chance to say that i'm sorry. and as much as I want him back in my life so I can fix everything I know that is impossible...since we separated I have really thought and grew up since than. and when I look up at the stars I miss him more.

to everyone out there. treasure what you have. I didn't and I lost the one thing that I treasured (still do) in life. you wont know you have lost something dear to you till its gone for good. don't hold anything back in life. life is way too short and don't forget anyone. the worst feeling in the world is the feeling that people have forgotten you.

i'm starting to get into photography more and more over the years. i'm really trying to save up to get a better camera than the one i have now and get photoshop on my computer. i have been told by two other photographers that i have a good eye and have the artistic touch. ^_^ but i really want more feedback. please comment on some of my photos and tell me how i'm doing. i thank everyone for the faves but please leave some kind of comment too. =] i really hope i go far with photography. only wish i could take some classes for it to learn more than just by myself.

I'm actually loving my life now. Of course i would love it more if I was not living with my parents but unfortunately I have to live with them until I get out of college. I now have a job which is great! I work at Kroger. The life of a bagger is so not boring. lol It's always busy. And plus I get paid weekly so I have some kind of money every week. =] I'm starting to do more adult stuff now. I'm out later at night, (which my parents hate) and I dont have to worry about asking them to go anywhere. Just as long as I tell them when I'm going to be home. Life seems good now.

But life does has its low points. My parents are fighting all the time cause my dad has cheated and he is quiting his job to start truck driving. Which he doesnt even have that job yet. So my family is fucked if he doesnt get a job with driving the big rigs. To add on too all this, my best friend is in Atlanta. I hate it. I cant hang out with him like I use to or even talk to him really. I feel like the city has taken my friend. I'm glad he has friends up there to hang out with. But also sad that I dont get to talk to him. I try to deal though. But it gets hard when I want to get away from my life at home and he's not around. He always found some way to make me laugh. lol But I get to spend a whole weekend with him when we go to AWA (Anime Weekend Atlanta) It's going to be a blast!!!

I got my first tattoo and it was amazing. I cant wait to get my second one and than my third one. =] My first one hurt like hell cause it was on my lower hip and the skin is really soft and sensitive there but over all? its was great. I so cant wait. I'm also planning on painting my room. My best girl is going to help me paint it and get the stuff for it. I cant wait for that either.

Alot of people say dont wish you're life away cause you will miss out on things. But I have always been a planner. That is just who I am. I cant change that. And I dont want to. I cant wait till I'm out of college, get my own place, get back with the love of my life and start a family. I have always wanted to be a mom. Right now that is the only purpose I have in life other than to have tons of FUN!!!! lol My life is really taking some turns now that I'm out of High School. Though I have to say...I miss high school. lol It was fun seeing my friends every day and not having to plan around work or anything cause you would just see them at school. It's not like that now. Treasure your friends. They are the ones who will always be there for you. =] I love my friends.

I finally got to spend a week with Zac in Florida. I HAVE been to Florida before but that was only on band trips and I really didnt get to spend much time to myself and really have fun. As much as band trips are suppose to have fun, they are more stressful than fun. It was spring break and me and Zac have been planning the trip for a long time now. We stayed with his mom and did most everything with her.

We went to Bush Gardens, which was a great and amazing experience. We went on all the rides and had a blast. We took lots of pictures and bought lots of stuff. I'm a roller coaster freak so i had tons of fun on the rides.

We also went to Clearwater beach. That was all new to me. I have never really been to the beach. My parents said i was at the beach when i was like 2 or 4 but i dont remember that. I have no clue how it was like at the beach being that young. So that was really alien to me. but it was fun either way. I got salt water in my mouth when i got into the water chest deep and i was like "ew ew ew ew!!!" and the sand got everywhere!!!! there where some places that i didnt know that sand could get into!!! lmao

We also went to see Zac's dad. Well i didnt but Zac did. He said it was great. Other than that we were really bored. and boy did we lose weight. We barely ate anything and did alot of walking and stuff. But all together i had a great time. it was a good chance to get out of the house for a week and spend some time away from the real world.

gtg!! TTFN ta ta for now